


Give My Life Only To You

by SpiritOwl



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-20
Updated: 2013-04-20
Packaged: 2017-12-09 00:25:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/767833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpiritOwl/pseuds/SpiritOwl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Written for the KMM#34 prompt:</p><p>Arthur/Merlin, Canon Era</p><p>Merlin just barely manages to save Arthur in time. Knowing that Gwen's a great Queen they decide not to return and to start a new life together. Happily ever after strongly needed!</p><p>http://kinkme-merlin.livejournal.com/35114.html?thread=37733674#t37733674</p>
            </blockquote>





	Give My Life Only To You

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Evanescence - Anywhere.

In the end it's a close call. Too close. Gasping and soaking wet you drag his unconscious (but alive, alive, alive) body out of the lake onto the shore. Your knees give out and he sinks with you into the grass. You can't let go just yet and you cradle his blonde head in your arms. You should be relived now. Except you're not. And you don't know why.  
  
You're ecstatic, of course. So fucking happy you can't breathe. You feel like you're going to break though. Or maybe like he will. You don't know. Just want to hold him like this forever. to keep this stupid, bloody, prat in your arms always. Only.  
  
He opens his eyes then. Breathes. In and out. "Merlin." And his eyes meet yours and you want to cry from how blue they are. Not grey, or clouded over. Blue.   
  
And he laughs. A little hysterically even to your own ears. "You actually did it." You try not to flinch at that. The fact that he didn't believe you would. Or maybe it's because even you didn't think you could. Not this time. And the tears really do come then. Big fat rolling sobs that you can't even begin to control.   
  
"Hey," he says. Gets to his knees and cradles your face in his large, warm, hands. He should be freezing. That lake is bloody cold.  
He should be freezing. But he's here.   
  
"Oh God."  
  
He's talking now, trying to soothe you, but you can't hear any of it. What's the difference? Between now and every other time it's happened. Maybe you're just getting worse at it. It just keeps happening though, you can't stop it. Fuck destiny, you think. It's wrong. nothing you do can ever stop it. And you can't take it anymore. Breaking your own heart every single time it's happened. You've lost count now (not true, you've memorized every single time, but you might as well) and maybe this is what makes it different. This time you don't think your heart can come back from it.  
  
"I can't save you." You manage to choke out. You're voice sounds barely recognizable. but maybe he understands anyway. Because his grip tightens and he gets that look on his face. the one he gets when he's so fucking determined to prove someone wrong. Only this time, it doesn't bring you any peace. Doesn't fill you up with the pride it always does, because this time you can't believe him. Can't save him.  
  
You've reached a odd sort of calm now, though. With that realization. Acknowledging it and coming to terms with what that means. It's not going to stop you from trying. You just know now not to get your hopes up for next time. Because there will always be a next time.

 

And maybe you've started speaking out loud because he says, "What if there doesn't have to be?"   
  
But you don't know what that's supposed to mean. Because you can't stop it, you've tried. Nothing you do, or he does will ever stop it.  
  
"There's always someone, something. Always out to get you, out to get Camelot."  
  
"Because of the laws and the hurt my father caused. They don't want a Pendragon on the throne. They want justice."   
  
"Yes." You agree. It's true. But you still can't follow his logic. But he almost never makes sense anyway. So you wait. Because of that look on his face. It's verging on deranged really.  
  
"What if we give them that?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Merlin."  
  
"No. What? Kill you so they can get their revenge for your father's wrongdoings. Camelot needs you. You're a good king, Arthur."  
  
"And Guinevere is a good queen."  
  
"Yes." You even manage not to sound so bitter at that.  
  
But his smile softens a little. More amused. And fond.  
  
Slowly now. Your equilibrium is coming back. You can feel yourself become more centered.   
  
"Camelot doesn't need me. Not anymore."  
  
You start to protest. Of course they need him. But he shushes you before you can even start.  
  
"Magic has got what they wanted. I'm already dead. Or so they think. They won't attack Camelot anymore. No Pendragon is on the throne. They've got their revenge. Gwen will change the laws. Lead a tolerant, peaceful Camelot with Leon by her side."  
  
"Leon?"  
  
His smile twists now, a little self-deprecating.  
  
"What, something the all-powerful Emrys doesn't know?"  
  
"I-"  
  
"Let's go visit your mother."  
  
And he can't be serious. Can't really be suggesting what you think he is. Just, can't.   
  
"Arthur, it's, you're the king, the, the once and future king, it's, it's destiny. You, you have to go back, have to." And maybe you're babbling now, what you always do when you don't know what to do.   
  
When he surprises you even after all this time.  
  
"It's over." He says. And he sounds so confident. You want to believe him. You do. But.  
  
"It's not." And the goddamn tears have started again. Fucking great. "It's not." It's all you can manage.  
  
"It is. It is, because I say it is, Merlin." And he smiling, so cockily now, that you have to laugh. Can't not.  
  
He leans forward. Just a little and brushes his lips against yours and you can't breathe. Again. He seems to cause that a lot in you.  
  
He pulls back, just a breath away. You sigh. "Anywhere you want Merlin."  
  
"Yes." You agree. Because you can't not. Not when he's looking at you like that. He's just. Arthur. And he always will be. And the image of this. It's all you need. Going somewhere, where no one knows either of you. Where destiny can't reach. Living only for each other.  
  
You finally smile, wide and goofy and light. Free. You slip your hand into his. "Let's go."


End file.
